One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. What makes these people this way? A number of things. They can’t take things in stride, and they’re particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake. People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. Easily angered people don’t always curse and throw things sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill. There are also those who don’t show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Why are some people more angry than others?Īccording to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more “hotheaded” than others are they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. Spielberger notes, “when none of these three techniques work, that’s when someone-or something-is going to get hurt.” This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.Īs Dr. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.įinally, you can calm down inside.
I NEVER HAD THOUGHTS THAT CONTROL ME HOW TO
People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward-on yourself. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior.
This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding it means being respectful of yourself and others.Īnger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive-not aggressive-manner is the healthiest way to express anger. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.Īnger can be caused by both external and internal events. Anger is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,” according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger.
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